Thursday, May 22, 2008

the 3's

Nighttime is when I write the best.

Always has been.

I've wanted to write on here for a couple weeks, but when I'm thinking about things at night I have to try to hold on to the thoughts till morning when I'm back at the internet. And they are usually gone. The inspiration has fizzled.

I asked for peace of mind and I received it.

I have a plan.

Nov of 09' I will begin the move back to California. Unless something that I cannot control happens before then that is my plan. It's a big move back for me. I will leave all my friends once again and treck back to the land on the westest side. The next year and a half will be a struggle. It's hard when you want to be somewhere but you know the timing isn't right. I love my instant gratification and get frustrated when things don't happen when I want them to. It's teaching me patience. Doing something the smart way with planning, instead of flying by the seat of my pants and jumping into the unknown (which is what I usually do).

The last two weeks have been tough. Weird.

One of my closest friends has been going through a death and then on the day of the funeral yesterday another close person to her died in the funeral home parking lot. She's a mess. And my heart hurts for what she is going through right now.

3's.

3 deaths in 3 days and 3 people I know in car accidents in the last week.

You can't explain things and we'll never be able to. Stuff happens. It just shows you that things can change in a blink of the eye and you really have to be thankful in the moment. You can try to have as much control over your life as you want. But when it comes down to it, we really have no control.

It's been 4 months since I've talked to my mom.

Think I'll call her.....

xoxo.

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