Thursday, May 22, 2008

It's what I used to tell people I wanted to do when I grew up.

I never really knew what occupation I was going to have, but I knew I wanted to make people feel good and put a little light in their lives....

Funny thing is.....I still don't know what I want to do with my life. But the answer is still the same.


the 3's

Nighttime is when I write the best.

Always has been.

I've wanted to write on here for a couple weeks, but when I'm thinking about things at night I have to try to hold on to the thoughts till morning when I'm back at the internet. And they are usually gone. The inspiration has fizzled.

I asked for peace of mind and I received it.

I have a plan.

Nov of 09' I will begin the move back to California. Unless something that I cannot control happens before then that is my plan. It's a big move back for me. I will leave all my friends once again and treck back to the land on the westest side. The next year and a half will be a struggle. It's hard when you want to be somewhere but you know the timing isn't right. I love my instant gratification and get frustrated when things don't happen when I want them to. It's teaching me patience. Doing something the smart way with planning, instead of flying by the seat of my pants and jumping into the unknown (which is what I usually do).

The last two weeks have been tough. Weird.

One of my closest friends has been going through a death and then on the day of the funeral yesterday another close person to her died in the funeral home parking lot. She's a mess. And my heart hurts for what she is going through right now.


3 deaths in 3 days and 3 people I know in car accidents in the last week.

You can't explain things and we'll never be able to. Stuff happens. It just shows you that things can change in a blink of the eye and you really have to be thankful in the moment. You can try to have as much control over your life as you want. But when it comes down to it, we really have no control.

It's been 4 months since I've talked to my mom.

Think I'll call her.....


Monday, May 5, 2008


My boss was supposed to land on his flight around 2pm. It is now almost quarter till 5 and I am confused. And bored.

Did everyone decide to take the day off for Cinco De Mayo or because it is absolutely beautiful out? The phones have rung about 10 times today. Usually it's 5times this much. So I won't complain. I will stay bored, wonder where my boss is, and be happy that I have a break for once instead of being drowned in paperwork.

Does exercise make everything in your life seem better?


I quit my membership about five months ago when I thought I was moving back to CA in June. And surprisingly enough I have also been in a dark hole for the last 5 months as well. Well finally on Thursday I decided I couldn't take it anymore and got my membership back. What a turnaround. And a lot of pain. But man do I already feel so much better. I'm being patient. I know I'm not going to be able to move anytime soon. So I'm sitting tight and saving my money. Like I preach about all the time anyway, it's all about the timing, and when it's time it will all fit together and I will be able to move. Oh happy day. Ha. Patience is a precious quality and I am trying to teach myself to be better with it. You have to have it.

Right now I want:
* A tan
* A plane ticket somewhere
* The tattoo I'm getting on my foot
* A bit more clarity
* The next hour and a half to fly by
* To be at peace with things

Loving the sunshine.